im a athiest for life, rippin beliefs to shreads,
im here to put all other religions to bed,
conundrum - reuben likes god but no one likes reuben,
i took all 12 disciples, dressed them and screwed them,
im sorry reuben but i also bent over the virgin mary,
that makes me the dad of christ, aint that scary,
i spose ill be goin to hell for those remarks,
but so shud all those priests standin all stark,
balls to the left, dick in the alter boy,
a corny sex scream 'THIS THE REAL MCCOY',
fuck all priests, pervy ass queers,
sorry roobs, i shud stop, i see ure tears,
i got a question, u protestant or catholic?
cos im gonna break the churchs windows with a brick,
then y'all should bow down to your new god,
especially reuben, cos hes just a fucking gay sod,
bible pages stuck togethor, couldnt wait til god tossed him off,
'b...b..but keep the faith', i just scoff,
dont dare fight when i burn ure sticky bible
ill take religion to court and sue it for lible,
i follow all the commandments, just not all at once,
i stole from the collection plate cos the ministers a ponce,
if anyone believe that bible shit they must be visually impaired,
im coming for u reuben boy, u better say ure prayers!

 

"A Song about Cottaging"

 

I went a cottaging one fine day,

I'll sue you for libel if you say i'm gay,

I just like drilling holes in public toilets,

Then sticking in my meat trucheon for all to soil it,

Cottaging is a real mans game,

But you shouldn't be fooled by it's gentle name,

It's nothing to do with wooden houses or straw roofs,

If anything its closely related to portillo being half-Spanish... and a poof

You may partake in cottaging here, you may partake in cottaging there,

But you mustn't shoot your load just anywhere,

You should splurt in a rancid, graphite-ladden public bog,

And if that aint you thing i'll muck up your lense you gay sod.

P.s. Rueben is a cottager,

and he'll probably try to bum you

 

Tharr be two songs in me bounty stolen from Matthew Howland

 

 

Gold 2000 (teaser version)

 

Gold! 2000

Always believe in your...Soul

You've got the power to...Know

You're indestructable,

Always believe iiiiiiiiiiiiit,

 

(Yaarrrr. I have recieved a ridiculous demand from "Jhonathon Mathers" demanding partial credit for this song. I find this ridiculous considering that this song quite clearly be stolen.) However, Words and Music By:

Kris S and Jhon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You better watch out Brady, I'm gonna 'ave ya lady
Just 'cause I wan-'er, just 'cause I can get her and you can't
So pogo on that you twat